What is the difference between a funeral service and a memorial service?
A funeral service will typically have the deceased present in a casket, while
a memorial service does not. If cremation has taken place, the urn may be
present at the memorial service, along with a photograph of the deceased.
Should
children attend the visitation and funeral?
If the child(ren) may be disruptive, it's best to consult the deceased's
family to determine if they would object to the children being there.
If there are no objections, discuss the situation with the children and
allow them to decide if they would like to attend the visitation and/or
funeral service. Describe in detail what to expect at the event (e.g. crying
adults, the deceased in a casket) to minimize their anxiety.
What are cash disbursements?
Payments made on your behalf by the funeral director are called cash
disbursements. Such items might include newspaper notices, officiant honorariums,
musicians, etc.
Is a minister needed to perform the service? What if I don't have one?
There is no legal requirement that a funeral service must be performed
by a clergy member. If you wish to have one, your funeral director may
be able to locate a clergy member from the denomination of your choice
to perform the service. The funeral director will arrange a meeting between
the clergy and the family before the service in order to tailor the service
to the family's wishes.
Is embalming required?
While embalming may be required by state law in certain circumstances,
it is not always required. Your funeral home may require embalming if
you select certain funeral arrangements, such as a funeral with viewing.
Note that embalming is prohibited by certain religions and cultures, so
you may want to consult with your clergy.
Should there be an open casket during the funeral or visitation?
In most situations, this is a matter of choice. Viewing the deceased
can help bring closure to friends and family and help them accept the
death. If the person suffered before death, some experts recommend viewing
the body 'at peace'. Some report that children, in particular, benefit
from viewing the deceased to get closure. In some cases, the body is not
in a condition suitable for viewing, and an open casket may not be an
option. Your funeral director can help you with the options.
Is cremation less expensive?
Not necessarily. Cremation is one option among many in the funeral and
burial process. In the past, families typically chose cremation and scattering
as an inexpensive alternative to casket burial. Today, many families select
cremation as a matter of choice (not economics) and arrange cremation
in addition to a funeral service, visitation, and a permanent place in
a cemetery. So, while basic 'no frills' cremation may be less expensive
than 'no frills' casket burial, cremation and burial costs can vary widely
depending on the options selected.
Can we still have a funeral service if cremation is chosen?
Yes. No matter what type of service you choose burial or cremation a funeral or memorial service can be arranged as a celebration of the
life that has been lived. Such events offer family and friends the opportunity
to pay tribute to their loved one, and an important opportunity to grieve
in a supportive environment.
What is done with the cremated remains?
There are many options for the final disposition of cremated remains.
Some families choose to keep them in an urn at home or scatter them in
a place of sentimental importance. Others choose to bury the urn in a
cemetery with a marker in much the same way a casket would be buried.
Cemeteries also offer spaces designed specifically to hold cremated remains,
such as scattering gardens and niches. A cemetery representative will
be happy to provide options and prices. When reviewing options, it is
important to consider future generations as well as current family needs.
For example, an individual keeping a loved one's remains at home must
consider who will take custody of the remains after their own passing.
Another consideration is whether there will be a permanent memorial at
which future generations can honor their ancestors.
Should I plan a funeral in advance?
Preplanning provides peace of mind, both to the individual and his or
her family. Planning a funeral at a time of loss can be an emotionally and financially
stressful experience. When you prearrange, you can make choices in your
own time, in consultation with your family, and without the emotional
grief that causes many families to overspend. Since funeral homes generally
require payment within 48 hours and estate funds may be temporarily unavailable,
making financial arrangements ahead of time is also advisable. This may
be done by pre-paying the funeral service provider, or arranging final
expense insurance.
Can I write my final wishes in my Will?
A Will is a binding legal document; however, a Will is traditionally
read after the funeral. For this reason, instructions related to funeral
and cemetery arrangements should be noted in a separate document and
shared with next of kin. Documents, contracts and final expense insurance
policies should be accessible to those finalizing arrangements after your
death i.e. don't keep them in a safety deposit box they're not authorized
to access.
